Birth Takes a Village

New podcast episode up and it’s a great one in line with my recent early birth series. Lessons I’ve Learned About Life, Through Birth. I reflect upon sitting with folks through moments of doubt or challenge in birth and how it taught me to sit with myself and others through moments of doubt or challenge in life. Thank you to everyone single person who ever attended a birth with me or invited me to their birth. You all have taught me so much. If I’m Not Here To Tell You on Spotify or iTunes.

EARLY BIRTH SERIES: One of the biggest mistakes we make in birth is confusing periods of strong waves with being active and then getting into our heads about progress expectation (am I a broken record?). It doesn’t matter how dilated you are. All you need to know right now is your body is in the gradual dilation phase. Numbers and charts don’t matter and actually cause harm the way we overuse them. We give birth with our bodies, not with our goal oriented minds. Be in your ...body. You can do it. If you are a provider and you think you have to offer a cervical check: have you considered sharing with clients the *scientific fact* about the risk of VE’s increasing risk of intervention without improving outcomes, that they can really confuse the picture by being just one small piece of info that’s very incomplete and often extremely misleading, and sharing all the external signs that tell us things are working just fine? You’re allowed to say that. You need to say that. People are counting on you to do what’s real, not to give bad advice based on poor interpretations of data by some dude who tried to figure out how to solve the birthing body like it was a math equation. It’s not. Love you. You can do it, too. Be patient. Trust the mammal, not the partogram. Watch the mammal, not the clock or the cervix. You can. Thank you so much everyone for your photo submissions! Pictures are worth a thousand words and they help so damn much! Scroll back to catch up on full series.

EARLY BIRTH SERIES: Okay. Clothes back off. Peace and quiet and solitude. Focus. Surrender. Pet therapy. Hot, cold, a bit nauseous here and there. You may see some mucousy discharge or some pink tinged mucous or some red blood in teaspoons or tablespoons as your cervix plays with stretching. Or you may not. Either would be normal, and it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t see it. You may be leaking amniotic fluid or the water bag may still be intact. Patience, patience, pa...tience. You’re sinking deeper again. If you have a long ways to go, things will space and you’ll get breaks. Trust your body’s pace and wait until the next phase makes itself obvious. I PROMISE, no matter how tired you feel, in an *unmedicated* birth, your hormones will take care of you and your energy later. I *promise*. I can’t promise that once we start intervening with meds, though (I’m very cheap with promises). Surrender to the fatigue. It’s normal and healthy, and means your body is making all the right hormones acting on all the right receptors. Being tired is a healthy normal sign of progress, it’s not pathology! Our natural endorphins we make act on the same receptors in our bodies as morphine does (that’s why morphine works in our bodies - we have a receptor for it because we make our own version!). A side effect of morphine is being tired. So, when our bodies make a tonne of endorphins to help us roll through birth, we also get waves of fatigue, and that’s a GREAT SIGN that everything is working perfectly. Don’t fear fatigue. Surrender to it. You can. See more

Sometimes this is the work of attending births. Sometimes you have to believe in people when they have forgotten how to believe in themselves. We don’t need to rescue them from anything. We don’t need to convince them of anything. We don’t need to give them an out. We can believe in them fiercely, believe in them while they express doubt, fears, struggle without trying to fix it. This isn’t pressuring them to do things they don’t want to do as it is often misconstrued as (or... could be with the wrong approach). But sitting with someone while they work through their self doubt, and holding their confidence and belief in themselves if they have dropped it, simply carrying it until they catch up to that belief and can pick it back up themselves.... it is a skill not many have, but is so important. In birth and in life. Image is from The Boy The Mole The Fox and The Horse by Charlie Mackery. . #theboythemolethefoxandthehorse @charliemackesy . @makingfaces I had to share one, too.

This sign has captured her attention recently, and she’s been reaching for it and playing with it. It hadn’t been in my awareness much for a long time, but it’s been up since February, when she was a month old and I quit breastfeeding to go back on chemotherapy to increase my chances of living longer for her. I cried so much during that time. So much. Grief was pouring out of me. Grief over giving up an experience I wanted for us both for all its many benefits, after I worke...d SO HARD to finally get my supply up. Deep, deep sadness over the thought of this new human not getting to have a mom for as long as she should. Feeling fearful that the way I wanted to parent her might be undermined by people thinking I wouldn’t need to do things the way I wanted if I wasn’t breastfeeding. In a moment of deep despair I mustered up all the strength and determination I could and wrote this sign and taped it up where I would be staring at it all day. I can do hard things. We can do hard things together. And we did. We found our way through together. We keep finding our way. Little one, always remember you can do hard things. If someone reading this is facing what feels like insurmountable emotions or challenges, you can do hard things, too. Yes you can feel free to share if you like.

Baby K and I popping in to give a little lesson on the phases of labour. A bit more complex than what you will read in most birth books, the true longest phase of birth for first time birthers is really the time IN BETWEEN what is usually described as early labour (usually described as mild irregular sensations) and active labour (usually described as strong and regular sensations). The longest phase for FIRST births is usually an in between time where SOME sensations ...are strong and close together, or may be that way for a while, but some of them are mild or spaced out or may be so on and off for a period of time. This is typically the best time to call your doula if you haven’t already (not necessarily your midwife if your birth culture is similar to ours here locally where the midwife’s main role is that if primary *medical* attendant). People (including birth workers / attendants of all kinds!) very often confuse this in-between time with ACTUAL active labour and start intervening if it’s too slow by active labour standards, leading to all kinds of problems. This can be the longest phase and can be mentally challenging because of its up and down nature. A good doula who understands physiologic birth can provide an immense amount of comfort and reassurance in this phase, providing physical and emotional nourishment, helping everyone rest in between sensations & in milder phases & surrendering to the process during the more intense phases until things tip over the tipping point into the place where one is really deeply into active labour & it’s getting closer to being appropriate for the modern midwife to come join. For people who have already birthed one baby, things are often different: for them, things are typically either early (sometimes even for days or on and off for weeks!) or active (rocking out strong sensations that sure as heck are bringing a baby soon), and there’s not usually so much in between. I say this as a person who personally birthed my first baby very quickly & didn’t have the typical first timer experience, but I STILL believe what I’m saying to be true & a more helpful version of what to typically expect! Kk that’s all for now! See more

I LOVE this story written by a past client, who birthed her 4 44 week baby at home on a snowy winter night. Took us a while to post it (like, years!), but better late than never. "Birthing my son was the single most empowering experience of my entire life. It was brought me greater confidence, courage, and joy." Story in comments!!!... Image @Common Heart Photography (Birth Takes a Village Doula and Photographer).

We have another educational video! This one has a twist--the baby was an undiagnosed complete breech, and the midwife only realized this right when the legs po...pped out! This was the midwife's first breech birth. She told us that she was freaking out internally, but you'd never guess it from watching the video. This baby also did something a bit different: after the legs were born, the baby stayed sacrum transverse and even started rotating slightly towards sacrum posterior (SP) with the second contraction. At this point, the midwife gently swept down both arms, which helped the baby rotate back to SA. The head came immediately after. We include some discussion at the end of the video whether sweeping the arms was indicated or not. Even with a team of breech experts, they did not all agree. What I love about this video: it can help us reflect on how we might respond in a similar situation--under pressure, with no advanced warning.

October is ALSO breast cancer awareness month for whatever that means. I would personally be pleased as punch if breast cancer didn’t get its own month and don’t want to be tagged in or sent anything to do with the matter, but different things feel supportive to and important for different people. All I want to use this month for is to share my birth story because I’m ready to do so... my wildly amazing home birth, a birth that happened alongside my breast cancer diagnosis,... treatments, and steadily worsening prognosis. Having the birth that I wanted and felt was healthiest for myself, my husband, and our baby was the most beautiful and powerful and healing thing amidst so much challenge and grief. One of my favourite quotes these days is When death comes for you, make sure it finds you alive, and the birth I had was one big way I have been truly able to embody my alive. I am so grateful for the birth that I had, and for the incredible human it brought into the world peacefully. Please live your lives and care for your health in the ways that feel best for you, and don’t ever fear monger or push choices on folks in my name when it comes to breast cancer because that’s not how I roll. But please do feel free to share my story if you think it may speak to anyone or inspire. Story below in comments. http://www.birthtakesavillage.com/the-one-where-i-was-made- (Quote about death from a Frances Weller book). . @commonheartphotography , our Birth Takes a Village Doula and Photographer