Humans of Ivey

For me, maintaining my mental health is comprised of two parts; everyday strategies and long-term improvement goals. I sometimes find myself overcommitting and becoming overwhelmed. I become anti-social, a bad friend, and a difficult person to work with. When I feel this stress creeping up I start prioritizing free time in my schedule and activities that bring me happiness. Sometimes that’s a face mask, other times it’s a glass of wine, but usually it’s talking to my closest ...friends about what is stressing me out. These everyday strategies help me cope with short-term stress that starts to become overwhelming. However, there are some stressors that aren’t solved by clearing a couple hours in your schedule. These can include things like family problems, difficulties in a relationship, or challenging personal situations. I think these types of stress are far harder to control because they can permeate every part of your life and are difficult to shake. In times like this, I force myself to dedicate a certain amount of everyday worrying about these things and creating strategies to address them. This is limited to something like 15 minutes a day when I might speak to a close friend of mine, and whenever I have negative thoughts during the day, I push them to my 15 minutes of ranting to contain these feelings. However, these strategies aren’t universal. I encourage anyone to take some time to look at the things that bring you happiness in life and prioritize doing those activities in times of stress. The last few years have brought me to tears countless times, but it’s the rock-solid support group I have that’s helped me weather all storms #BreakTheSilence2019

I’ve always been excited about learning and doing new things even if it means living life on overdrive some days. Because of this, I generally consider myself to be resilient and able to manage stress. But the passing of both my grandmothers just over a year ago pushed my emotional limits because I never knew how to handle stress or be there for my family. When your usual approach to life leaves you powerless, not knowing how to feel and react left me scared. My grandmoth...ers helped me grow into the person I am today; they taught me about my culture, took me on adventures, and were there for every moment. Seeing dementia and cancer turn them into shells of who they used to be was hard enough knowing they used to be so strong. But illness also greatly affects everyone around a person and makes you feel and react in ways you never expected. For me, it was hard to handle the new range of emotions and know how to be there for those you love. Over the course of 2018, I learned how to slow down, take a breath, and developed a more resilient mindset through writing and making art to reflect, and relying on strong relationships with my friends and family. This helped me balance between living in the present and being engaged in the now, and stepping back to frame the present in the experiences of the past as well as what’s coming next. Balancing these micro and macro views has helped me put everything I do into perspective, especially in stressful times, and reminded me to be continually be grateful for the relationships and people in my life. #BreakTheSilence2019

Ever since I was a little kid, doing well in school was important to me. Being the smart kid in class had grown to be a large part of my identity. In high school, I was the girl who got 99%s and 100%s in all my courses. I worked hard perhaps too hard and carried that with me throughout university. When you’re a dual degree student who’s been at it for over four years, that approach can start to wear down on you. First semester of HBA 3 was exciting. I had just complete...d my dream summer internship in the social impact space, my long-distance boyfriend from high school was FINALLY moving in with me, and I was in both Ivey and Huron courses that I was passionate about. However, it was also the busiest semester I had ever had academically. My anxiety over getting grades as close to perfect as possible and earning the respect of my brilliant professors went into overdrive. I was prioritizing academics far over my mental health and the important people in my life. Towards the end of the semester, my mental unwellness started impacting me physically as soon as I got out of bed every morning I was sick to my stomach. My body was telling me this is enough. With the support of my wonderful boyfriend, I finally let my guard down and made an appointment with the wellness coordinator at Huron. I had always been supportive of the mental health of others, but it was a huge step for me to recognize something was truly wrong and seek help for myself. It ended up being one of the BEST decisions I have made throughout my university career. During my first visit, the wellness coordinator helped me avoid a complete breakdown and get a couple extensions I needed on assignments. However, during deeper follow up visits we discussed reprioritizing things that are important to me in my life and setting goals to meet those priorities. A question she asked that will stick with me is, Think of yourself at your 80th birthday party. Everyone you love is there and giving a toast to you. What would you want them to say? Now, I am taking little steps towards being the person I want to be in that toast, such as having non-negotiable date night every week. Tonight is that night, and I’m taking my boyfriend out for dinner and to get a new tattoo! My grades, and my extracurriculars and so on, are still an important part of who I am. However, now I am able to set boundaries and take care of myself and my priorities. I look forward to continuing to see the wellness coordinator throughout the semester to hold myself accountable to that. Refining your self-worth and getting help does not have to be a threat to your identity unless you make it one. Today, I am more excited for what the future holds than I have ever been #BreakTheSilence2019

"I think one of the worst feelings is when you’ve given something all you’ve got, but don’t end up succeeding. You feel defeated, helpless, and that the world can be really unfair. I’ve had one of those moments in HBA1, and a good friend of mine told me about the Law of Averages. It’s the idea that sometimes you work really hard and get unlucky. But in the long-run, you will eventually end up in a place that you belong. So, be confident in yourself and stay persistent. You are talented, hardworking, and ambitious - and soon enough, you will end up in a place that you deserve and truly deserves you."

If I had one piece of advice to get through HBA1 that I wish I had, it’s to not get caught up in what everyone else is doing. You got to Ivey. You have your path that you’re on. And your Ivey experience will be unlike everyone else’s. HBA1 brings an amazing group of people together in a section, but it wouldn’t be as amazing as it is without everyone bringing their unique perspectives and experiences. Take a second and breathe to remember what makes you happy, and no matter how busy you are make time for it and get involved! Be confident in you, be proud of your accomplishments, because I know you’re all pretty cool, and work hard. It will all work out. - Jake Girling

When I first came to Ivey I wanted to assimilate. Afterall, when you talk about the Ivey culture, it's not just about jobs but about who you are and how you fit in. There is always pressure to be a certain way, and to fit into certain stereotypes. I chose to go with a little bit of a different approach. Recently, I was in one of my classes doing a weird little wave to someone else across the room. There was someone behind me and when I looked forward all I heard was, "You eve...r realize Mark is like really fricking weird." If I had heard that in HBA1 or any other point in my life prior to that, I probably would have been really hurt because to me being weird was a bad thing. But what I've come to realize is that if you're weird, you're supporting yourself. You're being who you really want to be. Take comedy, for instance, you can do great comedy when you do it for other people, but it won't be excellent comedy until you do it for yourself. Being weird is a compliment now. I've leaned into that. Now I get called weird two to three times a week, but I say thank you each time. It's way more important to be who you are than what others want you to be. See more