Domestic Violence

I woke up this morning and realized that I need more.. More of the things that fill my soul and less of the things that stress me out. I’ve been living day to d...ay so long, I don’t even think I’d know how to live any differently.. But I’m going to try. I’m done with the old stuff- the parts of my life that weigh me down, hurt me and make me unhappy. So, today, I’ve chosen to start writing a new chapter..something so new and different that it will feel strange for a while- until it doesn’t anymore. I’ve been down lately, but I’m not going to stay down anymore. I’m turning my setbacks into a comeback and I’m turning the page to start searching for my bliss. Maybe it’ll take a while, because I don’t know where I’m going. Maybe it’ll be a little awkward and humbling, because I won’t always know what I’m doing. Maybe it’ll be painful, because the best kinds of growth usually are. I’ve decided to leave behind the people, the places and the things that don’t contribute to my happiness. I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone wants you to be happy- they’re selfish and if it doesn’t fit into their agenda, then they won’t support you. No more. I’m surrounding myself with the people who love and accept me for just who I am. And if there’s not enough of them, then I’m stepping outside my comfort zone and making new friends and broadening my horizons. I can’t live or love small anymore- I’ve tried that and I’ll never be happy with that. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I love my people with everything I have..and that’s just what I’m going to keep doing. Maybe I get hurt more than most, maybe I choose the wrong people to love, but I will never stop listening to my heart. So, as I step out into a new day, I’m forging a new mindset and a new courage. While I’ll never be the brave that scales mountains or jumps out of planes, I can be brave in all the little ways that matter every day- Kindness to strangers, paying a compliment, helping someone in need. That’s part of my new story, and I’m both excited and scared to start living it. A new day, a new chapter and a new me. Strong, beautiful and brave. |ravenwolf See more

She looked down at her ringing phone and her heart dropped. It was him. Not just any him, but the him that had broken her heart not so very long ago. A thousand... thoughts and memories flashed through her mind as she thought back to their whirlwind romance. It was a fairy tale at first, his words and affection swept her off her feet like she’d never known.. In a word, it was magical.. Until somehow, it wasn’t anymore. The happiness and good times slowly changed into something..darker. The butterflies that once surrounded their love left and she found herself fighting for a love that made her feel bad. Maybe he put on a facade at first, maybe she ignored the warning signs..maybe she just wanted to believe in love. Whatever the reason was, she realized after a while that he wasn’t the person she thought him to be..and it made her so sad. His hateful words and hostility made the beauty of a once delightful love story dissipate until she no longer knew why she was trying any more. That moment was when everything changed. She couldn’t allow him to continue to disrespect and mistreat her any more. No one had that right and she took her power back. It was an ugly meltdown of something that used to be wonderful...until she dug deep and scrapped her way out of a broken dream, managing to get away from him with her dignity intact. The mere thought of that time and those bitter memories made her shudder. So, as his name displayed on her phone and continued to ring, she just shook her head and sighed. She wasn’t going back to that place where she was once fighting to breathe.. Nothing is worth having to battle for your survival- but she made it to the other side.. Somehow. Now, she was happier, healthier and every day was a new blessing.. Gone was the dread under which she had once existed. She was free..finally. She pressed ‘decline’ on his call and exhaled loudly. She had decided long ago to leave the past where it belonged - behind her. While he had taught her a lot about herself-not because she chose to learn those lessons-she had nothing left for him.. Not anymore. Not ever. She was done with that life, but not the lessons. So, she slipped her phone back into her pocket and leaned back. Sometimes, the most wonderful feeling of all is simply to be free. |ravenwolf See more

Read the whole thing, especially the note at the bottom...

Hello everyone. I am currently re-writing a couple of chapters in my book, "Life After Abuse...A Gentle Guide to Recovery". I will let you know when the new version is available. I know this is a very difficult time for anyone trying to rebuild after an abusive relationship. Hang in there - it will get better!! Remember, you are worth it!!

There were so many times I didn’t think I would make it.. When I thought heartbreak, life or failure would finally overwhelm me. The days when everything that c...ould go wrong did and it took everything I had just to keep going. People would tell me I’m strong, brave or whatever word they chose to use.. I just called it survival. I didn’t have the answers and I rarely knew the way, all I knew for sure was that I couldn’t quit. Underneath the misery and past the darkness in my life was a flickering light that kept calling to me.. It would whisper to me amidst my struggle.. Don’t give up. Every time I wanted to throw in the towel, each time I thought I was done, I would think of that distant light and muster up my courage to pick myself up, dust myself off and press forward. It was always painful and hard, never without strife and struggle, but I always found my way. I had always lived in a constant state of fear- holding my breath waiting for the next bad thing, heartache or disappointment. That’s a tough place to live when you’re always expecting disaster around every corner. I got to a point where I just got tired.. tired and fed up. I was sick of living my life fighting for survival every day, holding onto the painful past and thinking that what I was doing would change my present or future. All the anger, shame and guilt of where I’d been were burning me like a branding iron.. Searing the fear into my psyche that I couldn’t shake, shackling me and weighing me down so heavily I could barely smile. I hit that wall and something inside of me clicked. I was done living afraid of what might happen, who might hurt me or what could go wrong. It would take a long journey and many battles, but I was determined to change my mindset, my heart and free my soul. Looking back now, I realize that choice saved my life, because my downward spiral would have consumed me whole. Maybe I don’t have the answers or even know where I’m going some days, but I know I’ll end up where I’m meant to be. I found that distant light that was calling to me for so long ..it was the love for myself that was just waiting to be found. So, yes, I started over, stumbled and fell.. But I also rose again, dug myself out and found my wings. My life isn’t perfect and won’t ever be, But with love in my heart and peace in my soul, I’m living my life and finding my love just the way I was always meant to. For me, by me, because of me. Beautiful, strong and free. |ravenwolf See more

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