Nerdy Parenting

Covid might just be the perfect storm for Depression. Depression, as I am using it, refers to a mental health concern characterized by low mood and disturbances... in sleep, concentration, energy, self-esteem and hope. Diagnosing a Major Depressive Episode however is a little more complex than just endorsing items on a list and if you feel those items relate to you please reach out to a professional for help! Before this zombie-apocalypse-light, the rates of mood disorders, including Depression, in Canada were about 1 in every 10 Canadians and evidence from the United States suggests that those numbers have dramatically increased with Covid (over 500% increases based on some stats). Depression isn’t something that happens to them but rather it is something that happens to us and very likely you and I. Depression comes from an overlapping of a lot of factors including your genetics, environment and behaviours. Covid has dramatically shifted our environments and behaviours in ways that will increase the risk of Depression. Essentially, Depression is a disease of under-stimulation. One likely cause of depression is changes in the chemicals in our brain- like Dopamine and Serotine. These are happy making chemicals. Evolutionarily these chemicals are released to promote positive behaviours: You do something good for you or your species and you get a shot of these chemicals to make it more likely you will do that again. For some people, the systems that release these chemicals work differently because the machine is out of whack but for a lot of people we are not doing the things we need to do regularly to release enough of these chemicals. I sit with a lot of young people and ask them What are you doing that makes you happy? and if I could put words to the looks they give me in response, it would be something along the lines of, I’m depressed jackass. Nothing makes me happy. Depression is not a disease of laziness and I am not trying to add to the stigma around those who struggle with it. Rather, what I am saying is that regardless of where it came from, you are the only person who is going to be able to fix it and fixing it is going to take work. For many this will include medications that help make receiving those happy chemicals easier. However, even within that, you must start moving and doing things that release them. This is hard to do though as the deeper the depression, the more every fibre of your being sees those things as overwhelming and pointless. With Covid, the list of available things that release the happy in our noggins has shrunk dramatically making it even more difficult. One of the most brilliant metaphors for Depression I have seen is in the movie the Neverending Story. This scene might be singlehandedly responsible for f$&king up the childhoods of a generationremember it? The scene I am referring to is Artax in the Swamps of Sadness. Artax was Atreyu’s beloved horse. The journey for Atreyu and Artax becomes difficult and, when in the Swamps of Sadness, Artax gets stuck. Atreyu does everything he can to unstick his friend from the mud. Artax stops moving and the swamp consumes him. The deeper Artax sinks, the harder it becomes for him to move. Atreyu desperately pulls on the reigns but realizes nothing he can do can move his friend. Exhausted and defeated Artax sinks. This metaphor is heartbreaking in it’s brilliance. We are in the mud as a society at the moment. Moving from that mud is hard. It feels like we will never get out of the mud. The world around us is heavy and there is relief in stopping the fight and letting the mud consume us. But we must keep moving. If we do not, we will sink. The more we sink, the harder moving becomes. Small steps in the mud include doing things that once made you happy, reaching out to others, going for a walk, participating in a hobby, and asking for help! In the words of Atreyu to Artax, Don’t let the sadness of the swamps get to you. You have to try. You have to care. You’re my friend. I love you.

Sleep routines and kids. One thing that shifted rapidly in the wake of Zombie-Apocalypse-Lite (COVID) was a rapid change in routine. Many parents were home or required to be more flexible, kids were no longer at school, and with that, sleep schedules changed dramatically. Understanding a bit about sleep helps to understand why this may be a big deal. According to prominent sleep expert Dr. Matthew Walker from the University of California (read his book Why people sleep?......it’s great!), sleep is largely driven by two corresponding processes; 1) pressure to fall asleep driven by adenosine build up in the brain during wakefulness and 2) biological rhythms of sleep referred to as Circadian Rythms. The overlap of these two processes is the sweet spot for getting a good sleep. For children, number 2 is...well...a bit number 2 right now. Circadian Rythms work on a 24 hour clock and take time to adjust. Changing these rythms can take between a few days to a number of weeks. Further, the impact may not always be that noticeable as people with out-of-sync rythms may still sleep during expected hours. The problem is that the quality and value of the sleep they get will be worse until the rythm adjusts. Sleep is essential for healthy brain development, emotional regulation (read by parents as less meltdowns and freakouts), energy, appetite and whole host of other things. So...why care? Well- because routines are going to be shifting in the next few weeks for many kids as school starts again... which I’m imagining will look a bit like that scene in ET with all the tents and haze...regardless it’s going to be an adjustment. The world is an increasingly anxious place and going back to school requires a bunch of emotional energy. The sooner you can start to shift kids sleep in preparation for that the easier it may make their lives and yours! Just a thought. Here are some things you can do: -Start to shift sleep routines now to give their system time to adjust. -Keep sleep routines as consistent as possible. -Be extra mindful of electronic use within 1.5 hours of bedtime.

Helping kids stay mentally healthy through COVID-19 Everybody freak out! Or don’t. As some of you may have heard, there is currently a type of coronavirus (COVID-19) that is spreading rapidly and negatively impacting individuals and systems around the world. As this novel narrative plays out it is hard to guess what the future of this virus will look like or the impact it will have on our families and communities. However, it is safe to say that it will, if it has not already...Continue reading

When was the first time you remember feeling less than others because of how you looked? How we feel about our appearance can dramatically influence the way we interact with the world. Here are some thoughts on how we can support our children (and ourselves?) to develop healthy views of their bodies.

For many children and parents the transition from summer routines back to school is a difficult one. Any time of transition can be hard for children, but transi...tioning back to school is especially challenging given the level of anxiety most children feel towards social situations, performance and separation from parents. Here are some of our tips for helping anxious children cope with returning to school: http://www.nerdyparenting.ca//tips-for-helping-kids-transi