Rachele Kehler: Holistic Life Coach & Counsellor
1125 Howe St v6z 2k8 Vancouver, BC, Canada

Dear Empaths, Highly Sensitives, The Caregivers of this world, The Rescuer and The Nice Girl your discomfort in another’s pain is a lesson for you to practice sitting with your own, not solving theirs. When you step in and solve someone else’s problem for them, you are taking away their chance to learn their life lesson. Likely, you’ve learned that this is how you show love- by supporting, by being useful and by minimizing stress for another person. You were probably pra...ised for this as a kid! However, if you dig deepI mean REAL deepare you genuinely and authentically offering support when asked, or are you latching onto codependent relationships to help make yourself feel valuable, worth something or simply to live in the trauma cycle of stress then rest, stress than rest. Many have a hard time admitting that is a form of manipulation. You are attempting to change the other persons state of being, for the sake of your own discomfort. This often is buried SO deep it feels gross to admit. But here is the thing, if you truly are an empath, highly sensitive etc other’s pain IS incredibly uncomfortable for you, you probably physically feel it, AND, it’s not up to you to change them or make it ok. To sit with someone and say Yeah, it’s really hard right now. And I see you’re sad. It’s totally ok not to be ok. IS EMPATHY. When you rush to fix, solve, or change someone else (often you attract people in who ask you to do this because your inner child lives for the validation), you are enabling the one you love to keep in their same patterns. You are also taking away their life lesson. Sometimes our loved ones have to hit rock bottom and all we can do is watch them and wait for them to ask us for help. Then give them a metaphorical hand of empathy, and trust in THEIR POWER TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS. Oooofff! Isn’t this freeing?! Doesn’t it feel amazing to know you don’t have to do everything for everyone anymore?! Imagine not having to save the world around you?! Yes, this is possible, and its possible when you set personal boundaries and remember to ALWAYS listen to your body, your needs and your own self-care first. Yep, FIRST. #yougottafeelittohealit See more

Dear Empaths, Highly Sensitives, The Caregivers of this worl,The Rescuer and The Nice Girl your discomfort in another’s pain is a lesson for you to practice sitting with your own, not solving theirs. When you step in and solve someone else’s problem for them, you are taking away their chance to learn their life lesson. Likely, you’ve learned that this is how you show love- by supporting, by being useful and by minimizing stress for another person. You were probably prais...ed for this as a kid! However, if you dig deepI mean REAL deepare you genuinely and authentically offering support when asked, or are you latching onto codependent relationships to help make yourself feel valuable, worth something or simply to live in the trauma cycle of stress then rest, stress than rest. Many have a hard time admitting that is a form of manipulation. You are attempting to change the other persons state of being, for the sake of your own discomfort. This often is buried SO deep it feels gross to admit. But here is the thing, if you truly are an empath, highly sensitive etc other’s pain IS incredibly uncomfortable for you, you probably physically feel it, AND, it’s not up to you to change them or make it ok. To sit with someone and say Yeah, it’s really hard right now. And I see you’re sad. It’s totally ok not to be ok. IS EMPATHY. When you rush to fix, solve, or change someone else (often you attract people in who ask you to do this because your inner child lives for the validation), you are enabling the one you love to keep in their same patterns. You are also taking away their life lesson. Sometimes our loved ones have to hit rock bottom and all we can do is watch them and wait for them to ask us for help. Then give them a metaphorical hand of empathy, and trust in THEIR POWER TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS. Oooofff! Isn’t this freeing?! Doesn’t it feel amazing to know you don’t have to do everything for everyone anymore?! Imagine not having to save the world around you?! Yes, this is possible, and its possible when you set personal boundaries and remember to ALWAYS listen to your body, your needs and your own self-care first. Yep, FIRST. #yougottafeelittohealit See more

You and your inner-child need to know how important you are. How special you are. How unique you are. It’s time you see you. Close your eyes and listen to these words as if they are you own. Put this on repeat and in you minds eye see your little self and tell them all these things.... Your feelings matter because you matter. It’s ok not to be ok. I love you anyway. I will always be here for all of your feelings. #yougottafeelittohealit #rachele__k See more

Do you let yourself get angry? So many women I’ve worked with have a crippling fear of their own big-ness, their own inner fire, their own power, and this, in turn, shuts down anger. When anger is shut down it turns to depression, physical dis-ease or grief. It gets stuck, usually in the belly and womb area.... I remember when I was going to counselling school, teachers would encourage me to get angry and I simply said back I don’t get angry, I just feel sad. And I shut it off. I could only recall a few moments of actual anger in my growing up years, I always went to sadness. What I didn’t realize is that I was skipping a step. Jumping straight to tears, they kept me the victim and kept me small. I was afraid of my power and didn’t realize ituntil one day, I got really triggered and I let myself get PISSED OFF. I screamed, I punched pillows, I stomped around my house, I yelled in my car to heavy metal musicyou name it, I felt itand guess what I felt on the other side of my anger? PASSION, EMPOWERMENT and PLEASURE. I had tapped into this life force energy that had been sitting dormant in me for 30 some odd years If you don’t think you’re an angry person I’m going to venture a guess you’re simply not an aggressive person. Usually what we are most afraid of in our anger is our aggression and the impact it will have on others. (Often because of the impact that aggression had on you as a child.) Now all those moments of anger expression I was either alone, or in a therapeutic setting. And I promise you that post anger, I always found clarity, calm and funny enough, ENERGY. And after that, I was able to be grounded while expressing my feelings. Anger helped me get unstuck, out of a rut, and back into the present moment. Anger helped me light my inner flame again, and feel truly alive. Anger helped me express myself freely and with more confidence. Anger helped me feel more like myself. I invite you to consider anger just as valuable of a feeling as joy. Anger is a normal healthy emotion when expressed responsibly. And women, I guarantee you, you’re holding onto some stuck anger. You have a lot to be angry about. It’s time to let it out!!! See more

Make 2021 the year of coming home to your body. A women’s relationship with her body is complex and very layered. We have been conditioned from a young age to be super aware of our outer appearance and its impact on our sense of worth. As we grew into our woman-hood we have all been, at some point, judged, objectified, bullied and shamed for our bodies. Sometimes that was from the masculine and sometimes that’s from other women. In addition, we take our womanly cues fro...m how Mom speaks to herself, and how Dad talks about women. We look to our parents to see how to talk to ourselves. The sad truth is that ALL women have experienced some form of abuse, body betrayal, body shame, and body pain. As the feminine, our bodies not only represent our physical vitality but the body is also the vessel for our sexuality and our emotions. So, a shut down of your own emotions is a bypassing of your body’s needs. The shame of your creativity and sexual energy is a betrayal of your body’s natural needs and desires. When you take a look at this within yourself, how often can you say you make a decision from your head or from your body? Can you honestly say you honour your physical body cues? Did you know that your body is where you find the deepest healing, and the deepest reconnection to your true self? If you struggle to notice sensations in your body, and/or you find your body riddled with stiffness and physical pain this is your biggest clue it’s time to have a homecoming with your body. When making a decision: -Take a deep slow deep breath -Notice your feet flat on the ground -Place one hand on your lower belly/womb and one hand on your heart -Ask yourself a yes or no question in order to decide **Listen to if the yes has more ease and relief in your body, or no. This is subtle. It takes practice to notice. If its tough to even find your yes or your no, start here: > For 30 days, repeat this 3x while standing in front of you mirror OUT LOUD: It is safe to be in my body. My body knows what is best for me. I trust my body. I am open to receive a yes or a no in my body. My body loves me. I love my body. #yougottafeelittohealit See more

Pleasure, why are we so afraid of it? Most of us, including me, have a story of pain, suffering and pity that we identify with. So if we tapped into pleasure we’d let go of that part of self, and that feels scary... But did you know pleasure helps you get un-stuck? Did you know pleasure helps you reconnect to your true self? Did you know that pleasure is the most important ingredient in order to tap back into your feminine essence? What is something you can do for you, to... reconnect safely and gently to pleasure? If this concept feels a little scary, you’re not alone- it was for me at the start too. Want some support? Message me and we can work together to help you feel safe to embody pleasure again. #yougottafeelittohealit #pleasurepractices #pleasure #empoweredfeminine #somatichealing #somaticexperiencing #divinefeminine #selflove #loveyourself #rewiringthebrain #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #holistichealing See more

This video is a little different than my usual, but it was inspired by what I am seeing on social media these days, in addition to a small interaction I had today... Today I had someone who thought there were being helpful (I could have seen it as bossy) tell me I am not allowed to park where I did if there are other spots available. To this, I said, thank you ma’am, I’ll be 10 min and I’ve already parked. I am not bothered but thank you for letting me know. (Also it’s COV*...D so no one was using that spot) It was this small interaction that got me thinking how different we all operate. -some of us wait for the rules to be told and then stick to them -some of us think there is room to be a little gray with the rules -some think they’re just suggested guidelines -some do not follow anything, uniquely living their own path There is no wrong here. This women clearly valued structure and rules. For me, I’m more like suggested guidelines. Did I respond to her disrespectfully? No. I heard what she had to say, and then chose to do what I felt was best for me. BOTH can co-exist! (By the way, operating with this or that it all or nothing thinking is a sign your inner-child wants some healing.) Seeing each others differences and still operating with kindness, respect and compassion is how we bridge them divide and find our humanity again. Our differences is what makes us as humans fascinating!! Let’s all remember that those differences are places for us to learn from. AND underneath those differences, we all desire the same thing: love, connection, safety and security...yep, we all have those needs since we were young children, they’re what motivates ALL OF US! What’s one small act of kindness you can do for another today? See more

What if I told you that reconnecting to your inner-child was the missing link to healing your feminine essence and releasing past wounds? Would you spend the time and energy it takes to get to know this part of you? When I first started doing inner-child work, she was very closed and shut down. She didn’t want to talk to me because I had been ignoring her for many years. When she finally did open up to me she said she wanted to play, she wanted attention and she wanted to k...now how important she was through me keeping my promises to her. What I started to notice was how painful or eased-filled my triggers were if my inner child was or wasn’t seen, heard, or acknowledged. If she knew I had her back, I didn’t seem to get triggered as much, and when she felt ignored I tended to react and get upset. I also realized how much the feminine needs a reconnection to the inner-child. Before the age of around 8 your logic brain hasn’t developed yet, meaning you’re ONLY operating from emotions. And your emotions; from birth until the logic starts to develop in your pre-frontal cortex, is when you are developing your sense of self/ego. So how you FEEL during those early years is your IDENTITY. Holy crap, YOUR FEELINGS MATTER! Your feeling self is deeply feminine. Your logic self is masculineso if you don’t heal that inner-child you’re gonna have a hard time connecting to your feminine essence- a.k.a your sense of self. Feminine is that childlike bliss, joy and radiance that we ALL had, gender aside. It’s that playful, in the flow, searching out pleasure that is in all children- until that radiance was hurt, betrayed, abused, objectified, minimized, gaslit, bullied etc... The first time you had that piece of yourself torn away is where healing begins. You gotta step into that inner-child before you can embody the power of the truly divine feminine. Otherwise this energy will feel terrifying, and you will struggle to let the masculine show up for you. Wound healing, self-care, masculine and feminine healing, having healthy relationships and all therapy is all rooted in inner-child work. Are you ready to become friends with your inner child? #yougottafeelitto See more

Receiving= to be given, presented with ,or to accept. Many of us struggle to accept what another wants to give to us, because growing up much of what we were taught was conditional love. (Most of the time this is unconscious.) If you were taught that you needed to DO something or BE someone in order to receive, love, affection, attention or connection this cultivates a belief that receiving is conditional.... If you were taught to share, give, be generous, be humble, always help others first, this also cultivates a belief that in order to receive you must give back. In other words, a gift comes with conditions, even if that gift is a compliment or someones time. The feminine in you is begging to receive, unconditionally!! Here is a practice: -Say a simple thank you to a compliment without complimenting back. -Ask for something you need, and when you receive it, acknowledge it with gratitude- no giving anything in return -Let your partner give to you. Lap up the pleasure and attention. This is a tough oneit requires trust and surrender, but just RECEIVE This world isn’t meant to be conditional despite most of us operating from this misunderstood, wounded inner-child place. In fact, love is boundless. Your capacity to receive is endless. Connection is our human nature. Pleasure is infinite to those who receive. Oh and here is a doozie for you> RECEIVING ISN’T SELFISH. Message me if you want to talk further about this. I’d love to help you heal in order to receive all that you truly desire! #yougottafeelittohealit #rachele__k See more

When I reflect back, I see how I showed up, and I see why things happened the way they did. I wasn’t taught this by any means, but as a girl I believed it was my job to make mom and dad happy (aka less stressed so they’d have more time for me). As I got older I loved having a role, and I thought it’s what gave me validation, love and acceptance. Some of these roles were: 1. The problem solver- the one who comes up with new ideas and solutions to take care or others 2. The ...responsible one- motherly energy that left me feeling in charge of others lives, and the only one able to love them 3. The loyalist- never ever ever give up on someone, no matter how bad they treat you because you can love them out of their trauma 4. The yes person- terrified to say no, boundary-less, need-less and adaptable, the nice one people wanted to be around 5. The listener- I listen to you, in hopes that you’ll ask me question about me. Wise and mature for my age, hearing people’s concerns gave me a sense of purpose All of these roles didn’t let me find me. My life was so externalized I didn’t have a sense of myself. So I over-functioned in relationships (which stemmed from a fear of loss), and was rooted in a mistrust of my caregivers capacity to give me what I needed, despite them trying their best. Moving into relationships I ended up emasculating my partners; leaving me in a chronic state of burn out. I was bitter and frustrated because I was give give giving but never receiving. A common misconception in this realization was often he is selfish. When in turn I needed to look in the mirror and say I didn’t express myself or my needs. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was giving in hopes of getting in return, even if that was unconscious. < that is the hard truth to admit. That is why reconnecting to my inner child and healing my mother and father wounds alongside reconnecting to my feminine essence was such powerful healing for me. This journey is underneath 99% of the work I do with clients. I teach you how to truly care for you, so you can let love in, ask for what you desire, let your body receive, reconnect to play and pleasure so that you feel ALIVE AGAIN. See more

I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I just loved in the way I thought I was supposed to. I loved in the way I was praised for giving love as a child- being helpful, solving problems, relieving stress, supporting emotionally...and this translated to me being a parent and resenting you for being the child. I’m sorry. ... I now know this dynamic is incredibly sexy to those who have a neglected inner-child. The over-functioner loves having the role of the parent, the under-functioner loves being the child... I didn’t realize this isn’t partnership. I didn’t realize I didn’t know how to be a partner. I didn’t realize I didn’t trust my dad to take care of me. I was under the impression all men needed taking care of, so I did that, until I burnt out time and time again, resentful because I couldn’t receive the love you were trying to give me. The little girl in me just wanted to trust her dad. The little boy in you just wanted his mom’s love. We both co-created a dynamic that is all to common...and often labeled as the narcissist & empath...when in truth it’s our wounds bonding. Now I am awake. Now I see. Now I understand how to trust your masculine energy. Now I understand how to trust my feminine energy. Now I know what partnership truly can feel like...full of ease, trust, reciprocity, self-responsibility, mutual support and respect. I invite you to look in the mirror and ask, am I truly feeling angry with him for not doing anything around the house, or am I angry with myself for taking on the mother role for so many years? Want to reignite healthy sexual polarity in your partnership? Message me. #yougottafeelittohealit @ Vancouver, British Columbia See more

You wake up in the morning...messy hair, mascara crusted under your eyes, sniffly nose and he rolls over, looks into your eyes kisses you. Why? My dear feminine, your beauty comes from within. As women we have been conditioned to believe our beauty is out appearance. How many times on a first date do you touch up your makeup? Out with the girls, how many times are you adjusting the shape wear under your clothes? And so on... Most of what women are taught is not the truth.... Women are taught when she looks a certain way she will get the attention/validation her feminine desires. She is told she will attract the man only when she is the prettiest girl in the room...this, my friends, is false. Picture this: -Woman 1: She looks like a supermodel. So beautiful, dressed to the nines, everyone notices her when she walks into the club. She sits at the bar sipping her drink staring at her phone hoping and waiting that all the people who looked at her on her way in that at least one will talk to her...inside she is sad, insecure and longing for attention. -Woman 2: Your girl next door. Walks in laughing with a friend or two. Immediately gets exited because her song is playing. She doesn’t even notice anyone else in the room. She dances like no one is watching. She let’s her body take over and the music inspire her. So much so that all the people on the dance floor are starting to notice her, men try to dance with her, she playfully declines, women try to dance like her- she shows them moves and at the end of the night the masculine in the room have all eyes on her. Many women are envious of woman 1 and yes, many men look at woman 1 first, but really want to BE with woman 2. Why? She is radiant from within. Her inner light is a magnet for the masculine. She can’t hide her inner beauty. She is full of pleasure, she is fully in her body, and she is beaming light all over that dance floor. You wouldn’t believe how many clients remind me that their partners always wanna get frisky when they’re the most vulnerable, and carefree. If you’ve felt you’ve lost that spark, I invite you to dance daily- even if it’s just to 1 song. Msg me if you’d like some support! See more

The entitled feminine expects her partner to treat her like a queen, without ever treating herself this way. She demands he proves himself to her, expects he worships her and makes him work for his respect as her king. Much of this happens because she was hurt, abandoned and emotionally bypassed by the masculine in early childhood...she, most likely, was raised by a strong woman who showed her you need to be demanding and fierce to get what you want and that you can never t...rust the masculine to step up and care for you unless you continually test and challenge him. This also shows up in more subtle ways, the victim-mindset feminine, hopelessly waiting and longing for her partner to see her heart, to bring out her power and that he would just know what she needs. She was likely raised by a mother who complained about dad, she did everything around the house using you as her assistant/pseudo-spouse for comfort, and simply implied that under all the inadequacy and little boy energy, he should magically somehow know what it takes to make her happy- without her ever expressing what she needs. In both these examples the expectation is on the partner to make you feel like a queen. Never once, did this feminine consider that she has to also treat herself like a queen in order to bring in the masculine who will then see and feel her embodiment of her queen energy. If you woke up tomorrow and decided you were going to embody queen energy, what would you do? How would you feel? What would it take, for you to honor and revere YOURSELF?? A true queen is a courageous embodiment of her true authentic self, because she has learned to love her full self, and in turn shows this truly grounded yet flowing self to all those who enter her life. Her energy inevitably makes her masculine step up into being a king, because she knows when she treats herself like a queen, she also has the integrity (and capacity) to treat him like a king, and then he undoubtedly brings it full circle and cherishes her like the queen she already knows she is. Honor your inner empowered queen. Imagine how your inner queen looks and feels, and then show up this way for her TODAY!! See more

My dear feminine...pleasure is your birthright. Your body was made for pure pleasure, yet why do we shy away from it? Why do we fear it? Why do we get in our heads about it? Because most of us at some point have had that pleasure betrayed. Whether you’ve been abused, objectified, marginalized, minimized, told you were too much, told you weren’t enough, told to grow up, told to hurry up...all these experience kill our pleasure centers because they HURT. So you get tough.... You get in your head, because that is safer than trusting your body again. You get in your head because the body is the root of your pain. You get in your head because you feel you should be ashamed of your body. You get in your head because your body didn’t keep you safe from hurt, pain and betrayal. But guess what? Under all that hurt, shame and pain is a righteous anger brewing from your feminine. Your feminine wants to let int OUT! The beautiful irony is you must feel the pain and release it in order to access pleasure again. Get angry, grieve, get sad, soothe and then get turned on and lit up. Until you get angry you’ll never feel safe to be seen in all your radiant pleasure again. Yes, I say again because this is a reconnection process. As a child you were born with pure radiant pleasure. That little girl deserves to feel safe to shine again. #yougottafeelittohealit See more

This photo feels SO ME and yet incredibly vulnerable to share. I see my radiance and that glow, and its a little bit scary! Most of my life I believed my role was to be behind the scenes. The helper, the organizer, the back-up singer, the understudyyou name it, I lived in the shadows of other people’s shine. And to be honest, that felt safe. I convinced myself I didn’t mind it- until I did. My heart was calling to me. My soul was saying You’re meant to be in the spotlig...ht.. Now that message wasn’t actually that clear. How did it show up in reality? I was resentful to my ex fo being so charismatic, for being his (literal) back-up singer, and for always being the helper. I was envious of friends who’s businesses were thriving while I was sitting here asking what am I doing wrong? I even started to feel physical fatigue, which turned into a full on burn-out because I was continually ignoring my desires. My frustrations, aggravations and complaints were showing me where I was out of alignment. They were also showing me what I truly desired. I wanted to fully radiate in my authentically complex and multifaceted self. I wanted to be recognized, I wanted to feel joy, I wanted to be successful and I wanted to SHINE MY LIGHT. If you observe your frustrations, resentments, and stuck feeling complaints, what do you think you’re really asking for? Can you look at them as clues for what you truly desire? If you’d like support in exploring this, I LIVE for connecting dots and helping you see the other side of things. Making the choice to step into alignment- aka your unique spotlight isn’t easy, but feels much more safe when done with the support of another unbiased person on your side. Let’s do this together! #rachele__k #yougottafeelittohealit See more

Receiving by definition is- to be given, presented with, or to accept. Many of us struggle to accept what another wants to give to us, because growing up much of what we were taught was conditional love. (Most of the time this is unconscious.) If you were taught that you needed to DO something or BE someone in order to receive, love, affection, attention or connection this cultivates a belief that receiving is conditional.... If you were taught to share, give, be generous, be humble, always help others first, this also cultivates a belief that in order to receive you must give back. In other words, a gift comes with conditions, even if that gift is a compliment or someones time. The feminine in you is begging to receive, unconditionally. Here is a practice: -Say a simple thank you to a compliment without complimenting back. -Ask for something you need, and when you receive it, acknowledge it with gratitude- no giving anything in return -Let your partner give to you. Lap up the pleasure and attention. This is a tough oneit requires trust and surrender. This world isn’t meant to be conditional despite most of us operating from this wounded place. In fact, Love is boundless. Your capacity to receive is endless. Connection is your birthright. Pleasure is infinite to those who receive. Oh and here is a doozie for you> RECEIVING ISN’T SELFISH. Message me if you want to talk further about this. I’d love to help you heal in order to receive the life you have been dreaming about! #yougottafeelittohealit #rachele__k See more